“Where are you planning to go for dinner?” I was asked several times the day I visited Richmond Park Bar and Grill.
“Oh, Richmond Park,” I’d reply. “I’m going to do a write-up on them.”
And this is the part that amazed me. I got the same response three times. “Don’t order the Richmond Park Burger. You never be able to finish it.”
The first time I heard it, I was skeptical. The second time I was disbelieving. But by the third time, I was curious. Could there really be a burger so massive it was unfinishable? Or was it merely Lake County legend?
It’s pretty easy to get to Richmond Park Bar and Grill. Turn off of Point Lakeview Rd. onto Konocti Bay Rd and it’s right on the water. But that’s how to get there in a car. The best way to get there is by boat. Head into Konocti Bay, and you’ll see the huge docks with slips and the Richmond Park Bar and Grill sitting on pilings over the water. Now is a good time to visit. Find a calm, sunny day, put your boat in the water and head over. The views of Konocti from the lake are worth it alone. But if you can’t, or don’t, feel like boating over there, that’s no problem. They also have a parking lot. It’s not as exciting, but it serves the purpose.
My wife and I wandered over on a Friday night to listen to Tommy Roxx play some music and enjoy the views of the lake. Of course, the Richmond Park Burger loomed over us, but that’s something we would have to warm up to. So we ordered a couple of beers and sat at the bar chatting with other customers.
“So is the Richmond Park Burger as big as they say it is?” I asked the guy to my left.
“You won’t finish it,” he replied.
“What if my wife and I share?” I kept on, trying to see just how big it was.
“That would be better. You might both be able to get through it,” he continued. Was he messing with me? I looked at his face, scouring it for any hint that he was pulling my leg. Nope, he looked serious.
By now I couldn’t keep it in any more. I wandered over to the giant menu board next to the kitchen and looked at it closely. There, among all the other wonderful menu items, I saw it: The Richmond Park Burger.
“Is it really as big as everyone makes it out to be?” I asked the server taking my order.
“Are you going to share it?” she replied.
“You probably should.”
So I ordered one for my wife and me with onion rings, then we took our beeper and wandered out to the deck to listen to Tommy Roxx playing some good tunes. Within fifteen minutes, my pager buzzed, and I wandered over to pick up what had, in my mind, become a mythical burger. And there it stood, towering over the platter like something from a Harryhausen movie. I grabbed it with both hands, then staggered back to my wife and clunked it down on the table.
“It really is as big as people say it is,” I said, breathing heavily.
She stared in goggle-eyed amazement. “Oh my gosh! I don’t think I’ll be able to finish even half.”
I’d like to describe the eating process, but to be honest, it’s tough to eat a burger of that size without making a mess. Honestly, I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to fit it in. And I just don’t think it would be good writing to say, “As I took my first bite, the juices ran down my chin and dribbled on the table before I could get a napkin.” So we’ll leave it at this: The burger is huge. It has ground beef, ham, turkey, and bacon smothered in their special sauce and covered in Swiss and American cheese. They top it off with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and onions. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I could barely finish my half, and my wife didn’t even attempt it. It really is a big burger.
I have heard stories of people who have actually finished an entire Richmond Park Burger in one sitting. I don’t believe it. But if you think you can prove me wrong, send me evidence that you managed to fit all of that burger (and fries or onion rings) in your stomach AND keep it down, I’ll post your photos at the bottom of this article.
Richmond Park Bar and Grill is located at:
9435 Konocti Bay Rd
Kelseyville, CA 95451
This article first appeared in The Bloom on November 1, 2018.