A few days after my dad’s passing I was alone at the cemetery, visiting his crypt, which was outside amongst a fragrant, colorful garden. I heard the sounds of laughter and cheerful voices up the road as the annual summer fair was in town for the week. I thought to myself, how can they be so happy when my life is filled with so much sorrow? It was in that moment, the younger version of me distinctly realized…the clock isn’t going to stop ticking due my pain. Life goes on. From that day onward, harsh realities clicked within and I tasted the unfairness life can bring, but I also devoured the joyful memories.
Our lives are constantly evolving – at least we hope they will for many years to come. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, for any reason; the darkest and deepest depths of our traumas may bring us to our knees but life goes on. Reflections of my father’s sudden passing and the coroner’s determination that his death will never be solved rears its ugly head from time to time. Realization that the clock isn’t going to stop ticking due to my loss, pain or trauma provides lessons on future struggles to come. I think most of us can relate when it comes to the loss of a loved one as we all handle the inevitable quite differently.
Do you automatically crave new beginnings once the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve? I long for change and the hope of new opportunities, declaring realistic resolutions for the New Year and beyond, but realizing I waited until the end of the year to make life-changing decisions. For the past few years, I started a new tradition and wait no longer to practice mindful resolutions. Why am I waiting until the end of the year to execute positive changes in my life? Do this instead.
Feeling discouraged at times but realizing the importance to always discover a solution to pick myself up serves as one of the key traits to achieve true happiness in life. This rule of thumb should be in in all of our playbooks. We all have our burdens to bear but no one can make a better life for themselves until they look deep and rediscover the past magic. I am not referring to a hocus-pocus type of magic but a sense of recalling better days. It may be different for every one of us. Think back. Keeping the warm memories alive is not hard. It is a habitual ritual that began for me after my father’s sudden death at the young age of 57.
Next floor – Peace
I am not referring to the type of peace that comes with the physical space within an elevator. My message resonates within our individual and unique head space.
Although head space cannot be seen with the human eye, each one of us feels the challenging triggers when our personal mindset is compromised. The unfortunate downward spiral can be the result of a poisonous thought, disingenuous person or petty social media drama.
I recall the days of my childhood, wanting everyone to love and respect me, realizing with every year my hippie dreams were merely unrealistic pipedreams. Not everyone was going to like me; no matter the depth of my kindness or compassion.
I would no longer financially struggle, living every month having to cash in my paycheck for a cash advance in order to get me through the next month. I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. The vicious cycle was wearing on my mind as being able to afford to live in this small tourist town had become nearly impossible. I began to imagine what life would be like in the rolling mountains and there was no stopping my imagination when it ran wild. My family grew accustomed to my fairy tale thoughts as they understood it was merely one of my coping skills. Call it childlike wonder – call it quirkiness – this was part of my DNA.
It was 2015 and I had just left a dead-end career filled with false hopes and someone else’s dreams. Years of unforeseen struggles in my life blessed me with a new cherished direction. Unanswered prayers became more evident when I began to understand the importance of finding my peace. I was fast approaching 50-years-old. The time to make my move was now and no one was going to do it for me.